Media Says Border Crisis Not An Invasion, It Is Simply A Group Of Military-Aged Males Using Force Against Our Military To Enter And Occupy The Country

U.S. — After shocking footage emerged from the border showing waves of migrants mounting an attack on National Guard soldiers to break through the border, media outlets were quick to remind viewers that this was not in any way an invasion.

“We must remember that this is not an invasion,” said CNN anchor Jake Tapper. “This is simply a massive group of military-aged males from other countries mounting an assault against our military in order to enter and occupy our country.”

“It’s a totally different thing.”

Independent experts on invasion confirmed that an invasion is not happening in any way, shape, or form, but expressed regret that there wasn’t some sort of word to describe what’s going on. “Yes, it’s true that a massive foreign group has mounted a violent incursion against our armed forces in order to forcibly take up residence within the borders of our country,” said one expert cited by CNN. “But that’s not an invasion or anything. We should probably come up with a phrase to describe it.”

At publishing time, media sources described what happened at the border as an “unplanned welcome of persons of future citizenship.”

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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Babylon Bee