Former President Trump currently faces 91 felony counts in courts from Georgia and Florida to New York and Washington, D.C. Test your knowledge of the current Republican presidential candidate’s ongoing criminal and civil cases with this quiz.
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Q: Who is representing Trump?
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A: Future disgraced members of Trump’s Cabinet.
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Q: How much money has Trump spent on his legal defense?
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A: Lawyers only cost money if you pay them.
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Q: How will Trump obtain the half-billion-dollar bond needed to avoid having his assets seized?
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A: More fraud.
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Q: Who heads his legal team?
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A: Whoever makes it through the day without getting fired.
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Q: Who will serve on the juries?
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A: The unluckiest people in the entire world.
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Q: When is Trump scheduled to go to trial?
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A: The answer to that will forever remain six months from now.
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Q: Will Trump go to jail?
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A: You’ll need to watch the latest episode of Judge Steve Harvey to find out.
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Q: What is the most likely outcome of the four criminal cases?
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A: Reelection.
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Q: Wait, ‘court cases’? So there’s more than one?
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A: Okay, so you know very, very little about them—to the point where we’re kind of jealous.
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Q: Are any of these charges murder?
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A: No body, no crime.
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Q: What has Trump been charged with in Fulton County, Georgia?
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A: Talkin’ smart round these parts.
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Q: Why does Trump want presidential immunity?
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A: Unpaid parking tickets.
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Q: What happens if he loses?
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A: Trump will concede defeat, pay his penalties, and suspend his presidential campaign out of great personal shame.
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Q: How many attorneys is he going to burn through before this is all over?
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A: It’s going to take decades before the legal profession can replenish its ranks.
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Q: If Trump is imprisoned can he still serve as the coach of Eric’s soccer team?
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A: The NYCS under-15 league guidelines aren’t clear on the matter.
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Jesus Christ is King
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