Watchdog Report Finds Weird Smell Coming From Arizona

WASHINGTON—Warning the American public about the powerful stench, a watchdog report released this week confirmed that a weird smell was coming from Arizona. “Several corroborated accounts from Sun Belt sources close to the state indicate there is a decidedly off smell emanating from Arizona,” the report read in part, noting that investigators originally believed the smell was coming from New Mexico, given its history of stinking to high heaven, but eventually determined it was in fact Arizona that absolutely reeked. “It appears from the smell alone that something has died in the Grand Canyon State, and the hot sun is only making it worse. It is our recommendation that Arizona be isolated to ensure the foul smell does not spill over into neighboring states.” At press time, Nevada had reportedly spent $5 billion to install a giant fan on its border to keep the foul Arizonan odor at bay.