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Man Has No One In Life To Stop Him From Posting Lengthy Video Condemning New ‘Ghostbusters’

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HUNTSVILLE, AL—Bereft of the sort of close companions who would intervene before he took such a drastic step, local man Bill Delaney had no one in his life to stop him from posting a lengthy video condemning the new film Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, sources confirmed Friday. According to insiders with knowledge of the situation, the 43-year-old’s life was completely devoid of loved ones who cared enough about him to step in before he hit record on a self-filmed YouTube rant arguing the many ways the new Ghostbusters allegedly betrayed his childhood. Delaney reportedly encountered no resistance from a friend or parent at any point as he uploaded the 53-minute screed, leaving the unemployed man no reason to question whether or not it was a worthy focus of time and energy for himself or others. Sources also noted a demonstrable indifference from Delaney’s roommate, who simply shook his head and silently walked past after hearing the man vehemently insist from behind a closed door that “this isn’t the Slimer I grew up with.” At press time, the man who had spoken off the cuff for nearly an hour on his deep-seated animosity toward a children’s movie was heard expressing annoyance that the video had only accumulated a few dozen views in its first hour online.

The Onion

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