Planet Fitness Rated ‘Best Gym In America’ By The National Association Of Perverts

LOS ANGELES, CA — The National Association Of Perverts (NAP) Rated Planet Fitness ‘The Best Gym In America’ after learning this week the workout chain giant allows men to use the women’s locker rooms whenever they want.

“We couldn’t be happier to learn that our members will have access to women’s changing rooms all over the country,” NAP Spokesperson Lester Johnson told reporters. “For years, we perverts have been forced to peep through closed doors and leer around corners. Thankfully, with the rise of the transgender movement, we can now move freely through the women’s locker room and stare all we want and if you call us out, we’ll get Planet Fitness to revoke your membership! It’s amazing!”

After a woman photographed a man shaving in the sink in a women’s locker room in Alaska, Planet Fitness doubled down on its policy to allow men who think they’re women to use women’s spaces in their gyms, a move heralded by sickos, perverts, creeps and weirdos throughout the country.

“I thought the day would never come when our types would get the access to private women’s spaces we deserve,” avowed pervert and serial flasher Al Hester said. “I’ve been sneaking around locker rooms for years. I’m so happy to hear I can just put on a dress, say I’m a woman, and ogle all the ladies I want at one of Planet Fitness’s hundreds of gyms throughout the country!”

At publishing time, Planet Fitness announced it will also be allowing men in dresses to slap female gym-goers in the rear while they workout as long as they say “Hey fellow woman, looking good!” beforehand.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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Babylon Bee