Relatives Acting Like They’ll Be Assaulted By Deranged Clown The Instant They Set Foot In Gotham City

GOTHAM CITY—Nervous about visiting their cousin after hearing reports that a homicidal prankster was on the loose somewhere in the area, local man Mike Turnbull’s relatives reportedly acted Friday as if they were going to be assaulted by a deranged clown the instant they set foot in Gotham City. “Like any other town, Gotham is mostly just regular people going about their lives, but the media has my family convinced that every other person walking down the street must be a demented clown hell-bent on watching the world burn,” Turnbull said, telling reporters he could only roll his eyes when his panicked cousins brought up a story from years ago about an unhinged man in clown makeup who blew up a hospital. “My apartment isn’t even on the same side of town as Arkham Asylum. I’ve lived here for years, and I’ve literally only seen a crazed man dressed as a scarecrow dosing unsuspecting Gothamites with fear toxin once or twice.” According to sources, Turnbull assured his overly worried relatives that things had been much safer ever since Commissioner Gordon came into office.