Woman Who Calls Herself An Influencer Has Literally Never Influenced Anyone To Do Anything Ever

PROVO, UT — Shocking revelations emerged this week after it was revealed that a woman who regularly refers to herself as an online influencer has actually never influenced anyone to do anything ever.

Lauren Larsen, an active presence on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, regularly posts makeup and hair tutorials for her 10 thousand followers. After extensive interviews were conducted with nearly everyone who follows Larsen’s accounts, it was revealed no one has ever actually been influenced by her influencer content.

“Yeah, I mean, I watch her videos because I’ve got nothing else to do but I’ve never really tried any of her makeup tips or bought any of the products she promotes,” Larsen Instagram follower Kate Maglebly told researchers. “I just sort of follow her because she popped up in my feed one day and I was like ‘Ok, whatever’. I guess I should try out some of the stuff she’s selling…but, meh.”

Larsen uploads dozens of videos a week, from clips of her getting ready in the morning to closeup montages of all the various foods she’s eating. Quite often she’ll start a video with “Hey guys! So a lot of you have been asking me about my skincare routine….” a line researchers say is a complete fabrication.

“We didn’t encounter a single follower who had ever asked Lauren about her skincare routine, the hair products she uses, the name of the restaurant she likes…It seems this influencer isn’t really influencing anyone,” lead interviewer Casey Carson told reporters.

As of publishing time, Larsen had uploaded 15 more videos to TikTok of her newest eyeliner application process, prompting hundreds of her followers to watch in boredom before scrolling on to something else.

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Babylon Bee