WASHINGTON—Repeatedly asking if anyone else felt cold as they clutched their protruding elbows and rubbed their visible clavicles, the nation’s bony women announced Thursday that they were shivering. “Oh, my god, is it freezing in here, or is it just us?” said a gaunt 65-year-old Shayna Summers who, with several million other spindly, underweight women, proceeded to point out that their teeth were chattering, ask what the thermostat was set at, and then loudly comment that they guessed they would put on another jacket. “Seriously, does anyone else have goosebumps? It feels like the arctic in here. I wish I could stay warm like some people, but I guess I just don’t have enough body fat. See. Feel my hands. Ice cold!” At press time, Summers and her skeletal compatriots could not be reached for comment, as they’d drawn themselves scalding-hot showers in an attempt to warm up their cores.
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