Donald Trump has heaped incredible amounts of praise onto Vladimir Putin, especially as both men attempt to undermine the credibility American democracy. The following are the biggest compliments Trump has paid to the Russian president.
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“He makes a mean pesto.”
You honestly haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.
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“Incredibly powerful, with an ass like a horse.”
Weird, but still a compliment.
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“He’s a Moscow 8.”
But a St. Petersburg 9!
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“A man with immacable sclambatude.”
Can’t argue with that.
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“Kind eyes.”
Trump has effusively described Putin’s gaze as a sanctuary for the weary, with each passing glance caressing him like a gentle breeze.
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“He makes every song his own.”
Trump likes that Putin puts his own spin on old favorites.
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“Thank you for letting me be president of the United States.”
Sometimes the most direct compliment is the most sincere one.
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“He wrote most of the best Seinfeld episodes.”
Trump says “The Chinese Restaurant,” “The Contest,” and “The Soup Nazi” were all written by Putin in his off hours while working in the St. Petersburg government in the ’90s.
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“If Putin were a Bob Dylan album, he’d be Blonde On Blonde, or maybe Highway 61 Revisited.”
Trump then went on to call Joe Biden Shot Of Love.
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“He’s got a nice, firm stranglehold.”
You can tell a lot about a leader once they’ve got their hands constricting your airway.
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“He wins sham elections with such grace.”
Trump respects that Putin can win fixed elections with a poise that he could only dream of.
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“He can do whatever he wants to my kids.”
Trump will even lure them into some sort of trap if that’s what Putin wants.
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“I’d be honored If Putin’s security forces threw me out a window.”
Doubly so if he made it look like an accident or a suicide.
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“He would have easily won any season of The Apprentice.”
Yes, even the one with Bret Michaels.
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“He’d be an amazing roommate.”
After this is all over, they could get an apartment together! Maybe even one that’s walking distance from some cool bars.
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“He’s a good texter.”
With so many world leaders ignoring the former president, it’s no wonder Trump finds Putin’s quick response time and secure communication style incredibly refreshing.
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“Ukraine would be lucky to be obliterated by him.”
They should show a little gratitude and let Putin’s missiles finish them off.
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