Man Goes To Heaven, Immediately Asks God To Replay Arguments With His Wife So He Can Prove He Was Right

HEAVEN — The standard revelry that normally accompanies new arrivals in the hereafter was brought to a temporary halt, as a man came to Heaven and immediately asked God to replay arguments he had with his wife so he could prove he was right.

The unorthodox request was made as soon as Dave Randle stepped into glory, with his first order of business to procure irrefutable evidence that his claims during arguments with his wife were factually accurate and without error.

“ROLL THE TAPE!” Randle shouted as he entered Heaven, not pausing to stare in awe at the indescribable splendor. “I’ve been looking forward to getting here my entire life so I could finally prove to her that I’ve been right all these years. Getting lost on our way to her sister’s wedding. Losing the TV remote that one time. And I know I got the exact kind of sour cream at the grocery store that she asked for.”

“Now she’ll finally see. SHE’LL SEE!”

A representative of the Kingdom of Heaven later commented on the incident. “It’s a highly unusual request,” the spokesangel said. “You leave the flawed and broken confines of the physical world and enter into the joy of your Savior for all eternity… and you want to prove to your wife that you were right in all your arguments? You do you, man.”

At publishing time, Randle was disappointed that after reviewing 30,000 hours of footage, he was still proven to be totally wrong.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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Babylon Bee