Every Problem Conservatives Have Blamed On DEI

Conservatives claim that if the hijackers had been white males, they could have finished off the Pentagon like originally planned.

The only reason Pontius Pilate was governor of Judaea was because he was Black and bisexual.

Damn you, George Washington Carver!

Having to read a land acknowledgment at every single stop can add hours to a commute.

If we didn’t have an open immigration policy that allowed the Irish to enter the country, Timothy McVeigh could have never detonated that truck.

Baby…please…it’s DEI’s fault that I couldn’t stay hard.

Something about the name Titanic sounds Chinese to us.

Now she’s demanding to be called Mayor Sugar Lips, as if she deserves to be promoted just because of her gender.

The Richard Rothstein book has been out-of-stock at the local independent bookstore for months, and there’s no doubt the popularity of diversity programs is the culprit.

The space shuttle was enraged about having two women, a Black man, and an Asian American man aboard, so it took matters into its own hands.

To be fair, they might have a point here.

Your son worked so hard, and he absolutely wasn’t rejected due to his terrible grades, dearth of extracurriculars, or total lack of ambition.

If the Democrats didn’t legally require the inclusion of every race of seafood in Cajun boils, Gumbo Dan might still be with us.

Jeffrey Epstein was so sad about initiatives to hire more diverse prison guards in the facility where he was an inmate that he killed himself.

Classic move to blame someone else, regardless of DEI status.

It couldn’t possibly have to do with your racist tirades on Facebook, Truth Social, and Nextdoor.

The evils of modern medicine that constantly plague your family would never have been possible without famous Black doctors like James McCune Smith and Rebecca Lee Crumpler.

Back before DEI took over, sack-tapping was just a game, not sexual assault.

Sabotaged by affirmative action once again.

How dare these foreign words come in and take jobs away from hardworking American syllables.

They’re not going to hire you just because they “need a guy with good legs.”

Happened on a day when five women were in the office. Coincidence?

Conservatives cannot stand when more than one demographic of people are responsible for holding up the line.

The woke liberal agenda has been blacklisting scotch drinkers for ages.

Burnt hand on stove, burnt tongue on pizza, burnt neck with curling iron, burnt nipples from chafing—all clearly masterminded by minorities.

Stupid nail tech was probably too busy thinking about allyship.

Replacing all 1.4 million active duty military with Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones left our country far more susceptible to attack than ever before.

Thanks a lot, wokeness. Manufacturing racist mammy cookie jars was the economic backbone of this town!