Kids Excitedly Shake Easter Eggs Next To Ear To Find Ones Hiding Ham

BROOKLINE, MA—Letting out joyful screams as they rushed into a neighbor’s yard for the annual hunt, local kids excitedly picked up Easter eggs Sunday, shaking them next to their ears to more efficiently find the ones containing ham. “Shake it and listen for the wet-sounding slap,” said 8-year-old Timmy Lawson, advising his younger sister on the best way to locate the neon plastic eggs brimming with the most valuable salted-and-cured loot. “If it sounds like metal, it’s probably just some stupid coins so keep on moving. There’s only, like, four that have meat in them, but you can usually tell which direction to head based on where squirrels, rats, and birds are hanging out. Just make sure you grab them tight because the ham grease makes them slippery, and there will certainly be another kid following close behind in case you drop it.” At press time, Lawson’s 5-year-old sister was seen crying after he tricked her into trading a ham egg for one full of worthless candy.