Coca-Cola Incredibly Hurt Nation Not Going To Try New Flavor They Worked So Hard On

ATLANTA—The faces of top executives falling as they gauged the public’s apathy, sources reported the Coca-Cola Company was incredibly hurt Tuesday that the nation was not going to try the new soda flavor they worked so hard on. “Seriously, you’re not even going to taste it?” said CEO James Quincey, who stood in front of the nation with a bottle of the new Coca-Cola Spiced beverage in his hand and attempted to entice Americans between the ages of 10 and 40 to at least give the product a quick sip. “Well, we wish you would have said you weren’t interested before we wasted all those hours slaving away in the research and development kitchen. We made it just for you! You know what? Whatever. Don’t try it.” At press time, the Coca-Cola Company had reportedly dumped all of the new flavor into the trash and stormed away.