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Trump Warns Of Electric Vehicles Raping, Murdering Americans

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YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Speaking before a crowd of loyal supporters, former President Donald Trump warned Tuesday that electric vehicles were raping and murdering American citizens. “You go to one of these charging ports, and they’ll just have their way with you,” said Trump, who accused the mainstream media of covering up stories about the countless atrocities carried out in recent weeks by Teslas, BYDs, NIOs, and Rivians. “The foreign-made ones are the nastiest. They’re built for violence. China isn’t sending their best. They say the hybrids are better, but the things I’ve seen Toyota Priuses do, folks. I wouldn’t let my daughters near one of those things.” At press time, Trump added that just the previous day he had witnessed an electric vehicle beeping at a woman.

The Onion

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