Pizza Slice Must Be Really Delicious To Be Served From Behind Bulletproof Glass

CHICAGO—Contemplating what he presumed was one of the most sought-after meals in all the city, local man Ron Steward told reporters Wednesday that a pizza slice at John’s Pizza & More had to be really delicious to be served from behind bulletproof glass.“Whoa, that’s got to be one incredibly tasty pizza slice if they thought thieves would try to take it by force,” said Steward, speculating that the coveted pizza was most likely kept in a vault during off-hours and looked after by five or six armed guards to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. “They probably have some kind of alarm system rigged up so even a slight change in pressure under the heating lamps alerts them to a potential heist. I didn’t even know a slice that good existed. Maybe it’s from the British royal pizza collection?” Steward added that it was especially odd that such protection was needed, as the pizza appeared to be available for a mere $4.99 with a can of soda.