CLAYTON, CA—As he strode down the sidewalk and glanced at the numbers on his Fitbit, sources confirmed Thursday that local father Trevor Doherty was entirely unaware he had been pushing an empty stroller for the past eight blocks. “Look, sweetheart, it’s a doggy—an Australian shepherd doggy!” said the visibly beaming father, pointing out a passing dog for the benefit of his absent child and returning the friendly smile of the animal’s owner, who also failed to notice the $400 carriage was completely empty. “You’re awfully quiet this morning, aren’t you? You’re also feeling a little bit lighter today, though maybe that’s just your dad getting stronger!” At press time, Doherty had reportedly gone into full-panic mode and begun a frantic search of every place he had been in the past 30 minutes after suddenly realizing his sunglasses were missing.
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