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Yeah, Sure, Elderly Man Hitting On Granddaughter Due To Dementia

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SANTA CLARA, CA—Agreeing it would be a lot more comfortable for everyone if the elderly man’s actions were rationalized that way, sources confirmed Monday that yeah, sure, 93-year-old Raymond Woods was hitting on his granddaughter due to dementia. “Oops, it looks like Pop-Pop is confused,” said Grace Mausner, who made a half-hearted attempt to assure her 21-year-old daughter that the natural progression of her grandfather’s Alzheimer’s disease was the sole reason Woods had wolf-whistled at her when she walked into the room. “Don’t worry about it, Sarah, he must have forgotten who you are for a moment. He is very, very old and very, very sick. You don’t need to get those gams over anywhere. It’s probably just an accident that he got your name exactly right.” At press time, Woods was admonishing Mausner for “blowing it for Pop-Pop.”

The Onion

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