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Study Links High Scores On Tests Of Fortitude To Becoming Leader Of The 7 Realms Later In Life

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THE KINGDOM OF KARAVAR—Indicating that strong performances in such feats of strength and agility were highly predictive of future triumphs, alchemists and enchanters on the King’s High Counsel released a study Tuesday linking high scores on the Tests of Fortitude to becoming leader of the Seven Realms later in life. “Our studies show that those who prove themselves worthy in the Great Tests are highly likely to display the valor and grace necessary to unite the Seven Realms,” said lead archmagus Melwyn the Sage, who described how success in completing the Maze of Thorns, recovering the Eternity Pearl, and defeating the Eldritch Hound had shown itself as a vital tool in understanding who could responsibly wield the Lightning Blade and Diadem of Lucalus. “These are dark days for the Realms, indeed. Even within the kingdom gates, the sickness of dissent rises once more. Yet it is for these very reasons that we must stay true to the Testing Way. Why, it was precisely how the vice chancellor’s son—orphaned during the tragic Siege of Samorrah and whisked away in the dead of night—regained his title as the One True Ruler and dethroned the traitor Goronador.” The High Counsel added, however, that any potential leader’s abilities should be looked at holistically alongside their accomplishments in jousting and a recommendation essay from a distinguished courtier.

The Onion

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