The strong arm of the law works a little differently in the Lone Star State, where asking for mild salsa is grounds for arrest (and for a good whuppin’). Here are ten crimes that you can actually be executed for in the great State of Texas:
- Forgetting The Alamo: Straight to the electric chair.
- Saying “you all” instead of “y’all”: Texans don’t take kindly to such commie nonsense.
- Stopping for gas anywhere other than Buc-ee’s: The legal definition in Texas of criminal insanity.
- Owning a vehicle with no truck bed and no dog in truck bed: Also, if the dog is one of those small, yappy dogs.
- Driving carefully in the rain: Right to death row.
- Failing to bow your head when a George Strait song comes on the radio: Show some respect!
- Saying, “No thanks, I don’t feel like tacos tonight”: Firing squad, immediately.
- Forgetting the lyrics to “Deep In The Heart Of Texas”: No trial necessary.
- Refusing to acknowledge the superiority of Whataburger over all other fine-dining establishments: No Michelin chef can compete with a Double Meat Whataburger with cheese!
- Messing with Texas: You can’t say you weren’t warned.
There you have it – the law of the land in the greatest state/nation on earth. God bless Texas!
When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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