For some reason, church men’s conference entertainment is now a topic of conversation. To avoid falling into any controversy, making sure your church’s men’s conference has the right opening act scheduled should be a priority.
To help out, The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of ideas for your church’s next men’s conference:
- Monster trucks with chainsaws attached to them: Combining every man’s love of enormous pickup trucks and highly dangerous gas-powered cutting tools.
- Whiskey-tasting/axe-throwing combo event: There’s literally nothing that could go wrong by combining these two activities.
- Andrew Tate: Don’t pass on the opportunity to learn from the world’s foremost teacher on masculinity
- Karate master who goes through the crowd and kicks everyone in the crotch: Time to find out who the toughest men in the congregation really are.
- Mark Driscoll vs. Conor McGregor cage fight: An epic battle between a brash, loud-mouthed bully and Conor McGregor.
- Gun eating contest: Sissy boys shoot guns. Real men eat them for breakfast.
- Boxing a kangaroo: Bring back this classic from 19th-century fairs.
- Have all the guys share their feelings, hug each other, and then cry while singing “Good Good Father”: Just like the Apostles used to do.
- Chippendales dancers: What good Christian men don’t want to watch shirtless, oiled-up, masculine men perform?
If the list above doesn’t give you any ideas for your church men’s conference, just find your nearest male stripper/sword swallower. It seems to be the go-to these days.
When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.
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Babylon Bee
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