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Dad Gives Knowing Nod To Family Also Dealing With Whiny Little Shit

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CLEVELAND—In a sign of solidarity to a nearby child-burdened party attempting to eat breakfast in peace at a local IHOP, 43-year-old father Greg Markie reportedly gave a knowing nod Tuesday to another family also dealing with a whiny little shit. “Uh-huh, you too, huh?” the dead-eyed father reportedly mouthed, looking away from his own sniveling fuck of a toddler to express wordless empathy for the family. “What’s that Dylan? No, you’re right, it isn’t fair that you can’t get both an scrambled eggs and the apple-cinnamon pancakes, but you’ll have to decide for yourself. I know, the world isn’t fair. It’s tough, kiddo.” At press time, the mother of the other whiny little shit had reportedly mimed blowing her own brains out, thereby producing a moment of levity for Markie before he returned to his miserable existence.

The Onion

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