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Subway Manager Shows New Hire How To Properly Soak Bread In Mop Water

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LEBANON, IN—Noting that the sandwich-making technique was simple but might take a few tries to master, local Subway manager Keith Unger showed a new hire Tuesday how to properly soak bread in mop water. “So first things first: You’re going to want to take your stale, hardened roll and then dunk it over and over in the dirtiest janitor’s bucket you can find,” said Unger, who proceeded to demonstrate the technique on a piece of bread he pulled directly from the garbage. “I know this may seem like a lot to remember, but believe me, you’ll be saturating our moldy, cockroach-filled bread with gallons of mop water like a pro in no time. Also, don’t be afraid to push it down to the bottom of the bucket, because that’s where you can find the best gunk.” Unger then went on to recommend that if the new hire couldn’t find a bucket, a clogged toilet would always work in a pinch.

The Onion

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