Andrew Tate Releases Course On How To Be A Manly Stud Under Investigation For Sex Trafficking

VOLUNTARI — Men who have searched their entire lives for instruction on how to be more masculine and successful finally received the news they had waited for, as kickboxer/entrepreneur/social media personality/alleged criminal Andrew Tate released a new course on how to be a manly stud under investigation for sex trafficking.

The long-awaited course will provide subscribers with a step-by-step plan to help them take control of their lives, become wealthy through unsavory means, and build a reputation for being a horrible, abusive pimp and sex trafficking mogul.

“It’s everything you’ve ever wanted to know about being a man,” Tate said in a video announcement of the course posted online. “How to love yourself? Check. How to use loathsome tactics to entice and enslave susceptible young women? It’s right here. How to build a large social media following of toxic, misogynistic, self-professed alpha males while also engaging in activities that land you in a Romanian prison under investigation for sex trafficking? Got it. If you want to be an ultra-successful manly stud like me, this is your chance.”

Tate’s followers were excited by the announcement. “Yeah, bro!” exclaimed Chet Rampert in a reply to Tate’s post. “I’ve wished for years to be just as awesome and worthy of public contempt and legal prosecution as Andrew Tate, and now I can! I’m going to get this course, study everything he does, and end up a manly stud under investigation for sex trafficking just like him! Thanks, Andrew Tate!”

At publishing time, Tate had announced that the first 100 people to purchase the course would also receive a bonus lesson titled “Become Rich, Famous, And Terminally Incarcerated”.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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Babylon Bee