Leak Suggests New Taylor Swift Album All About Sink Not Draining Good Because It Clogged By Long Hair

LOS ANGELES—Circulating online via a Google Drive link, an alleged leak of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department left fans speculating Thursday that the new album would be all about the artist’s sink not draining good because it was clogged by long hair. Swift subverted expectations that she would address her breakups with Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy, with the leak reportedly featuring the lyrics “Grew my hair out / Now it’s smeared on the shower grout” and “Why does my drain go so slow / Please email taylorswift@gmail.com if you know.” At press time, a QR code mural had appeared in Chicago that took Swifties to a YouTube video of the artist typing “Where the hell am I supposed to wash my hands now, the damn tub?” on a typewriter.