JERSEY CITY—Lurking ominously as her unsuspecting prey lay naked with his clothes strewn at the foot of the bed, local man Greg Jensen’s girlfriend peeked up over his torso during a blow job Monday like a gator in the bayou. According to terrified sources, Jensen’s girlfriend, much like an amphibious killer roaming the Louisianan lowland, slithered around the bedsheets for several minutes, waiting patiently for his genitals to wander into her line of vision. While the 36-year-old Jensen was at first relaxed, events reportedly took a turn when he spotted his girlfriend’s head bobbing over his hairy stomach, and in a flash, watched as she locked her cold, dark eyes onto his penis, emerged from the shadows, and in a terrifying flash, revealed two distinct rows of razor-sharp teeth. At press time, a naked Jansen was reportedly thrashing around after his girlfriend, with the bite power of a 600-pound reptile, latched onto his penis and refused to let go.
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