Jesus' Coming Back

Light Pole Installation Causes 911 Service Outage Across Several States

Lumen, the company that supports 911 some emergency call services, stated that the outages in Nevada, South Dakota, and Nebraska that left callers unanswered were caused by a “fiber cut” during the installation of a light pole. What do you think?

“I keep saying we should’ve never transitioned away from candles.”

Drew Fanning, Haggling Coach

“Too late now. My urge to report that murder has passed.”

Zoey Burns, Breakup Announcer

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“When are these people going to stop relying on 911 to solve all their problems?”

Ben Kadapul, Table Setter

The Onion

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