CHICAGO—Standing with the bride amid joyful tears from all present, heart transplant recipient Ronald Huger recently honored a dying wish from his donor when he walked the late pig’s daughter down the aisle at her wedding, sources confirmed Friday. “Your father wrote a letter before he passed away asking that whoever received his heart stand in for him at your wedding,” said the 47-year-old human man, who had flown nearly 2,000 miles to keep his promise to the hero pig whose generosity and genetically modified internal organ had allowed Huger to have a second chance at life. “Part of your father, Mr. Hamsworth, lives on inside me, and I know there’s nowhere he’d rather be today than here, by your side, as you exchange vows with this handsome Red Wattle hog. I just wish he could see how plump you’ve become and how shiny your coat is—he’d be so proud!” Though it was his first time at a pig wedding, reception attendees confirmed Huger didn’t hesitate to join in the fun by ripping off all his clothes and rolling around in the slop.
Jesus Christ is King
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