Jesus' Coming Back

U.S. Bans TikTok

President Biden signed a bill into law banning TikTok nationwide unless the Chinese company that owns it, ByteDance, sells its stake in the app within a year. What do you think?

“And with that, Chinese influence over our economy comes to an end.”

Rowena Marriott, Topiary Clipper

“But I haven’t finished radicalizing!”

Lochlan Robin, Tanning Bed Technician

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“Now the youth will return to the true center of taste and style: Paris, France.”

Asma Harding, Weight Estimator

The Onion

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