SACRAMENTO, CA—In a daily forecast that took note of a warm front moving into the area with a hot, damp mass of air, horny television meteorologist Troy Pruett advised local residents to bring a white T-shirt Wednesday in case it rained. “We expect these rain showers to continue all afternoon and into the evening, so don’t forget to pack your thinnest white T-shirt—preferably one with a deep V-neck—if you plan on being outside,” the grinning weatherman for Sacramento’s NBC affiliate said with a wink, instructing viewers to stay outdoors once they had changed into the clothing item and to stand near a boom box equipped with a CD of Warrant, Winger, or Whitesnake. “It’s going to be pretty wet this week, and you don’t want to be caught out there in opaque clothing. While you might be able to get by wearing bright red lingerie beneath your sheer cotton top, you’re definitely better off wearing no bra at all. Later on tonight, there’ll be a 90% chance of marble-sized nipples.” Pruett added that he would be doing his next weather report from the sidewalk outside a college bar and that his tab would be open if you wanted to put a few tequila shots on there.
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