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Doctor Reminds You To Arrive Early So You Can Wait Even Longer

U.S. — In a helpful message regarding your upcoming appointment, your doctor has reminded you to be sure that you arrive early so you can wait even longer.

The reminder follows a protocol established by the American Medical Association that urges physicians to stress to their patients the importance of getting to the doctor’s office as early as possible so they can sit in the waiting room for a longer period of time.

“Just a quick heads-up from your doctor,” the voicemail you received begins. “Tomorrow is your scheduled appointment, and we wanted to remind you to get there early. If you arrive on time, you run the risk of only having to sit in the waiting area for a short amount of time. To avoid that hassle, please arrive 15 minutes before your scheduled appointment time so you can wait an even longer time. Thank you!”

When reached for comment, your doctor’s receptionist provided further clarification. “The patient’s appointment will not start at the scheduled time,” she said. “So if they arrive when they’re scheduled to have their appointment, they’ll be seated in the waiting area for only 15-20 minutes, tops. We want them to spend as much time waiting as possible so a larger chunk of their day can be thrown out of whack. So please, arrive early so you can wait at least a half-hour.”

At publishing time, your doctor’s office also wanted to advise you to be sure to go online through your patient portal and fill out your information online so that you could just fill it out again in person with a pen and paper when you get there.


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Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King

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