WASHINGTON—His cell phone ringing and causing a huge distraction right as their piece began, the nation reported feeling embarrassed and devastated Friday after President Joe Biden answered a business call during their big recital. “We spent weeks practicing for the spring piano recital, and he missed our whole performance,” said a visibly disappointed Greg Holt, 56, who along with the rest of the American populace teared up as the president loudly barged out a gymnasium door to talk on his phone in the hallway, apparently not caring how hard the nation had worked to memorize all three pages of “Linus And Lucy.” “We kept looking for him in the audience, hoping he would return, but there was an empty seat next to the first lady the whole time. We know he’s a busy, important man, but our teacher scheduled this months ago! When he missed it last year, he said he’d watch a video taken by one of the other country’s presidents, though of course he never did. He’d better take us out for ice cream after, like he promised.” At press time, the piano recital was still in progress and sources confirmed Biden had returned just in time to hear Israel play.
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