IQUITOS, PERU—Disappointed by the limitations of the psychotropic medicine, an ayahuasca-tripping God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Tuesday how underwhelmed He was to see Himself. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but I sort of figured I’d see something more awe-inspiring than the face of Me,” said the Almighty Creator, who asked the shaman in charge of the retreat if there was something wrong with the hallucinogenic tea He had received during the ayahuasca ceremony, eventually realizing that gazing upon His own Divine Form would be the extent of the trip. “I thought maybe I would transcend to a higher plane of existence, but instead I had a vision where I saw all of creation and how everything is connected to everything else—which, I gotta say, felt like pretty run-of-the-mill stuff. What a bust. I could have had the same experience by looking in the mirror, and then I wouldn’t have had to puke.” At press time, God was reportedly panicking after His trip took a bad turn and He suddenly found Himself confronting Lucifer, Prince of Darkness.
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