Jesus' Coming Back

Florida’s Near-Total Abortion Ban By The Numbers

Image for article titled Florida’s Near-Total Abortion Ban By The Numbers

Florida has passed a restrictive law that bans abortions after six weeks from a woman’s last menstrual period, before most women know they are pregnant. The Onion breaks down the numbers behind the state’s war on reproductive rights.

  • 0: Number of unwanted babies who will be adopted by the people who pushed for the ban.
  • 1: Ultrasound tech from Daytona who really needs a vacation.
  • 545-683-9177: Hey, it’s Janet from a few weeks ago. We need to talk.
  • 16: Number of podcast episodes to queue up for the drive to Virginia.
  • 350,000: Feet of unwanted umbilical cord to be produced each year by women unable to terminate pregnancies.
  • 1: Brilliant marketing opportunity for Carnival Cruises to offer abortions under maritime law.
  • 0: Percentage increase in condom sales.
  • 6: Weeks to get to Georgia before they close the border

Advertisement

The Onion

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More