NEW YORK—Discovering a new strategy to help him get through his hush money trial, former President Donald Trump reportedly draped his jacket over his head Wednesday so that nobody could tell he was sleeping in court. “It’s the perfect plan—people will assume I went under the jacket just to think a little bit more about my case,” said Trump, who was unaware the legal proceedings had ground to a halt as everyone in the courtroom stopped to stare at his concealed form. “I can get some shut-eye, or even just play around on my phone, and they’ll be none the wiser. If they ask what I’m doing under here, I’ll just say, ‘I’m listening.’ Now, finally, time to get some rest.” At press time, sources confirmed Trump was peeking out from under the jacket to see why everyone had gotten so quiet.
Jesus Christ is King
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