Jesus' Coming Back

Toronto’s expansion WNBA franchise mathematically certain to win their league championship before Leafs do

TORONTO – Former MLSE chair Larry Tanenbaum is reportedly set to bring an expansion franchise to Toronto for the start of the 2026 season, who will undoubtedly win their league championship way before the win the Cup.

“If there’s one fact of life it’s that every new Toronto sports team will win before the Leafs,” said basketball analyst Cliff Dickerson. “Sometimes it takes a long time like the Blue Jays or Raptors, and sometimes it happens quick like TFC, but either way it happens.”

“With this new WNBA team, I predict they raise the WNBA trophy within 7 years, right around the team the Leafs are starting their next rebuild.”

Much is still to be announced with respect to the team, including where they will play and what their name will be. What is certain though is that the will inevitable achieve the success that has so long eluded the Leafs, as they will not be subject to the same curse that haunts the Buds every waking move.

“In fairness the team hasn’t won a ‘chip yet. But on the other hand the league is in its first year and they already seem like a lock to make the finals, which the Leafs also haven’t done since 1967,” added Dickerson.

“Maybe they and the new WNBA team could win in the same year, just to really drive home that it’s not actually impossible for a Toronto sports team to win something, it’s only impossible if that team is the Leafs!”

At press time the Leafs were really hoping we don’t get a Roller Derby team anytime soon.

Beaverton

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