Jesus' Coming Back

Biden pledges to not smile the next time he gives Netanyahu one billion dollars

Washington, D.C. – US president Joe Biden has finally made clear his position in regards to the mounting war in Gaza, stating he will not smile the next time he gives Netanyahu a large sum of money.

“I believe this stance shows my strong decision in terms of the mounting conflict,” stated Biden on Sunday. “It’s going to be a super not smile. Not a frown, but sooooooo not a smile. I believe protestors will see I am not simply riding the fence, but making clear my undefined position on Israel and Palest-who said that?” 

Biden then looked off as if someone had interrupted him, which no one had.

The US government’s continued supplying of weapons and aid to Israel while making comments about how over the top and reckless Netanyahu’s tactics have become has led critics to describe Biden as “passive-aggressive.”

“I’ll show you passive-aggressive,” exclaimed President Biden, before he pointed at a small pin on jacket, which he explained is a symbol of peace that he will probably wear next time he meets with Netanyahu.

“And if you think that’s pretty badass, check this out,” the president continued, opening his shirt to reveal a Tattoo written in Sharpie on his chest, which he stated, “my Tattoo artist says this is the Japanese symbol for peace…he’ll know it’s there and know what I mean. I’m also not going to wear a tie.”

Netanyahu has responded to the upcoming plan of Biden to not smile as he hands him one billion dollars as, “an outrageous affront to Israel, its people, and its values.” He promises that the consequences of such an action will reflect an equal reaction of violence, but made it clear that the people to suffer would, “obviously not be American or Israeli…you know who they are…the starving ones.”

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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