THE CASTLE OF ISIDORE—Scolding the associate magister for his inappropriate use of guild resources, the High Council at Calazar Keep reportedly reprimanded wizard Ashkahol the Geomancer for watching porn on his work orb Tuesday. “We’ve told Ashkahol repeatedly that we’re trying to maintain a professional sorcery environment here, and then I look over and he’s using his Divining Orb to gaze upon a threesome between three barely legal succubi,” said Archsage Maladrel, who emphasized that he did not care what the 374-year-old conjurer did with his personal orb, but that looking up AmateurBrujas.xxx on his work orb could risk infecting all of Calazar Keep’s enchanted devices with a foul and malignant hex. “It’s also projecting at full blast, which is deeply disrespectful. He really can’t even put a muting bind on his orb when that stuff is playing? And don’t think it isn’t obvious when I see him skulking off to an empty dungeon cell with that orb under his arm. By Creseis above, does he not understand we’re trying to bend the forces of God and Man using the seven divine elements here?” Maladrel added that per dress code, Ashkahol also needed to be wearing the company-issued big blue moon hat.
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