Frustrated Cicadas Assumed There’d Be More Than One Hole For Trillion Insects To Emerge From

MILLEDGEVILLE, GA—Questioning the practicality of the method of egress from their years-long resting spot, frustrated cicadas told reporters Monday that they had assumed there would be more than a single hole for a trillion insects to emerge from. “Seriously, no one thought to dig a second exit when a trillion of us need to get out of here?” said Brood XIX member Zyvzvzvz-37893, noting that it was already enough of a hassle to bury himself in the soil and lie dormant for 13 years without the additional inconvenience of having to queue up behind innumerable chittering winged bugs and wait his turn to leave. “C’mon, let’s hurry things up, folks. Some of us have exoskeletons to molt and screeching to do. At this rate, I’ll be lucky if I get out of here by June and still have time to mate and die. God, we really should have thought this through better.” At press time, the cicada had reportedly grown even more frustrated after realizing that the lengthy line he was in was merely to use the bathroom.