Trump Quietly Avoids Eye Contact With Rudy Giuliani Begging For Change Outside Courthouse

NEW YORK—Seeing the two men’s gazes lock for a split second before one quickly lowered his head, sources confirmed Tuesday that Donald Trump quietly avoided eye contact with Rudy Giuliani on the steps of the courthouse where his disgraced former personal attorney and campaign lawyer was begging for change. “Spare a little something for America’s mayor? Oh, it’s you, Mr. President! You remember me, don’t you, sir?” said a dirt-smudged Giuliani, who wore a tattered bespoke suit that appeared to have been slept in for several nights and smelled of urine. “Going to court today, are you, sir? I’m entangled in a dozen or so cases myself, you know. Maybe you could pitch in with 75 cents for my legal defense fund? Anything would help. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where a fellow could find a place to sleep in this town, would you?” At press time, Secret Service agents were reportedly asking Giuliani to move along as he shouted to Trump that he expected to have the election results in Georgia overturned any day now.