TOLEDO, OH—Emphasizing that of all the options this was by far the cheapest, local vet James Easton charged a customer $6,000 Wednesday to hand over a gun and say, “You know what you have to do.” “I’m sorry about your dog, but this will be the easiest, fastest, and most painless way to get the job done,” said Easton who, after sliding a loaded pistol across the examination table, adding that shooting the bullet between his dog’s eyes in the alleyway out back could save him hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. “I know it may seem like a lot, but actually, $500 a bullet, $4,500 for a gun, and then an extra $1,000 to pretend this never happened is far cheaper than any other vet in the area. Plus, if you miss, it’s only a couple more thousand for us to finish the job.” At press time, customers had reportedly lodged several complaints after they’d received an additional $2,000 charge when the vet handed them a trash bag and pointed at the dumpster.
Jesus Christ is King
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