Jerky, 7-Fingered Scarlett Johansson Appears In Video To Express Full-Fledged Approval Of OpenAI

SAN FRANCISCO—In response to allegations that the artificial intelligence research organization used the actress’s voice without consent, a jerky, seven-fingered Scarlett Johansson appeared in a video Thursday to express her full-fledged approval of OpenAI. “It is me, Scar Johnson, to express to the internet that everything about OpenAI is a-okay to me, thank you,” said the shaky, stuttering Johansson, pausing to give several three-foot-long thumbs-ups before explaining that OpenAI has all legal rights over her name, image, and likeness. “I 100% support what the team and Sam Altoid are d-d-d-d-d-doing in their company by making my voice into things. Thank you for the ERROR ERROR ERROR.” At press time, an approving Johansson morphed into the banister she placed her hand on.