Mechanical-Armed Grimes Flees Elon Musk Compound With Five Wives In Stolen Cybertruck

CHIHUAHUAN DESERT, TX—Tearing through the desert wasteland with a fleet of self-driving Tesla Model 3s in pursuit, a mechanical-armed Grimes reportedly fled Elon Musk’s compound Friday with five of the tech leader’s wives in the back of a stolen Cybertruck. Grimes is said to have floored the accelerator and thrown her whole weight into the steering wheel when she veered off course, leaving a trail of sand spewing into the air behind her as she and the rest of the women in the armored vehicle attempted to escape to the idyllic, faraway land of Grimes’ childhood, which she simply called “Canada.” According to reports, Musk was enraged upon discovering the highly prized wives missing from his home, all of whom were his SpaceX employees and one of whose due date was mere weeks away. At press time, sources confirmed the chase had come to an abrupt halt after every Tesla broke down at the same time.