BOCA CHICA, TX—Reached for comment on whatever entirely predictable controversy the tech billionaire had gotten himself involved in this time, multiple bored and exhausted sources confirmed Monday that Elon Musk…well, he was Elon Musk. “Look, Elon is just—ugh, you know—he’s being his usual self,” said a source with knowledge of the situation, noting that the 52-year-old Tesla CEO and Twitter owner was doing pretty much exactly what you would expect him to do in this set of circumstances, and so it wasn’t as if anything strange or novel had happened. “Just imagine what Elon Musk would say and do, make it even more like Elon Musk, and then you have a sense of what’s going on with Elon Musk. Seriously, when is he ever not doing shit like this?” Sources went on to state that if we were indeed living in a computer situation and Elon Musk was the main player, then it must be the shittiest video game ever created.
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