Hims Now Selling Bags Of Chips For Depressed, Impotent Losers Who Are Also Hungry

SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to better cater to its target market, telehealth company Hims has reportedly begun selling bags of chips for depressed, impotent losers who are also hungry. “Experiencing anxiety? ED? A rumble in your tummy? Hims can help,” says a voiceover in the company’s latest ad, which touts the subscription-only product as the perfect savory snack for men who are fundamentally less-than. “No doctor’s visit required, and the packaging is discreet. You have to order all this stuff just to get hard and produce enough brain chemicals not to kill yourself, so you might as well get a little treat while you’re at it. They’re kettle-style!” At press time, the company added that the chips were not covered by health insurance.