‘It Is Their Finest Album Yet,’ Reads Press Release Written By Band’s Bassist

WAUKESHA, WI—Describing the release as a breathtaking glimpse of the four-piece working together at their very best, indie rock act Order of Magnitude’s latest album was reportedly touted as their “finest work yet” in a statement penned by bassist Karl Weber. “After a period that marked the greatest turmoil the Order has ever faced, the band has come together to produce a summation of everything that came before—simply put, it is their most generous work to date,” read the 750-word write-up, which was reportedly drafted by the 37-year-old in between recording sessions in a bandmate’s basement and his part-time job as a clerk at Best Buy, and which was part of an effort to promote Cosmonaut, the band’s fifth release. “From the signature melodic flourishes in lead singer Tom Sampson’s passionate but eccentric vocals to Karl Weber’s inspired bass lines— which hold together the orchestrations with Pet Sounds-like precision—there is no question that they have crafted their boldest LP so far. This is the culmination of the many trials the quartet has gone through over the years and a peek at a bold new future.” At press time, Weber had reportedly been thrown out of Order of Magnitude for making out with the drummer’s girlfriend.