Wealthy Hospital Patient Orders 3 Of Every Procedure

NEW YORK—Expressing his intention to spare no expense during his stay at New York­–Presbyterian Hospital, wealthy patient Duncan Barrow reportedly ordered three of each procedure upon his admittance to the facility Friday. “You know what, all of these surgical interventions you have look so good—I’ll just take three of everything,” said Barrow, adding that he had cultivated a taste for all the finest procedures, from minimally invasive laparoscopic surgeries to the latest in coronary artery bypasses. “Why choose? Sure, I don’t need a bone marrow biopsy, but I think I’d like to try one anyway. Maybe a few appendectomies too, just to be safe. Oh, and liver transplants! I’ll take as many as you got.” At press time, sources reported Barrow had slipped an OR nurse $10,000 and told her to “keep the anesthesia coming.”