9 Bible Stories That Probably Won’t Be Turned Into Animated Kids’ Films Anytime Soon

Brought to you by: RevelationMedia

The Bible is the most important book in history, with some of the most beautiful and impactful stories ever recorded. Children of all ages can benefit from the truths in God’s Word…but let’s be honest, there are some Bible stories that will never get an animated adaptation for the little ones. Here are nine kids’ films you probably won’t be seeing any time soon:

1. Abraham And Isaac Go For A Campout: Kiss any father-son camping trips goodbye after this one.

2. Lot And The Big Pile Of Salt: Would really ruin a kid’s appetite.

3. Herod’s Daughter Gets A Present: Yikes.

4. Fun At The Pig Farm With Jesus: Suicidal demon-pigs just don’t translate well to cartoons.

5. Job And The No Good, Very Bad Day Where Everyone Died In Horrific Murders And Buildings Collapsing: It’s just a bit much.

6. David & The 200 Philistine Foreskins: That’s a conversation that can wait for another day.

7. The Fall Of Fat King Eglon: Absolute nightmare fuel.

8. Elisha’s Furry Friends: At least your kid would learn to never make fun of bald people.

9. If You Give A Judge A Jawbone: A great underdog story, but the body count is probably a bit high for your toddler.

Riveting stories? Sure. Good source material for some cartoons your kids will enjoy? Probably not.

NOT SATIRE: Watch the Bible This Summer!

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We asked Trump to narrate 7 more famous historic battles, and the result was tremendous and magnificent. Everyone says so.

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Babylon Bee