Justice QAnon Shaman Under Fire After Refusing To Recuse Himself From Jan. 6 Cases

WASHINGTON—Denying that recent events in his personal life would in any way hamper his ability to judge impartially, Justice QAnon Shaman came under fire Friday for refusing to recuse himself from two Jan. 6-related cases. “Despite claims to the contrary, my involvement in storming the Capitol in support of Supreme Leader Donald Trump will in no way effect my ability to be a fair, honest, and unbiased member of the Supreme Court,” Justice QAnon Shaman told reporters while wearing a bison-horned fur headdress, red face paint, and a black robe, adding that his attempt to overturn a presidential election by occupying the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, was protected under the First Amendment. “The Supreme Court abides by a clear code of ethics, and neither my actions on Jan. 6, nor my subsequent 27-month imprisonment, nor the fact that Q sent me should disqualify me from these two cases. Furthermore, in what world is holding a flagpole with a spear tip and threatening to kill the vice president considered a political act? This is a witch hunt.” At press time, Justice QAnon Shaman had called on Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito to recuse themselves from the two Jan. 6-related cases because they were too chickenshit to storm the Capitol.