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Pregnant Belly Helps Grade Schooler Balance Weight Of 20-Pound Backpack

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EL PASO, TX—Recalling the difficulty she once had standing up straight as she carried her textbooks and supplies from class to class, local 11-year-old Mia Bridgemeyer told reporters Friday that her pregnant belly was really helping her balance the weight of her 20-pound backpack. “Before, I was always hunched over from lugging this thing around, but now, with this huge baby bump, it’s actually super easy,” said the fifth-grader, adding that the 18 pounds she had gained during her six months of pregnancy had been a “total game changer” when it came to traversing her elementary school’s hallways with her oversized JanSport bookbag. “While it’s scary to think about how I’ll be a mom soon, it’s nice that I haven’t had as much trouble walking to and from school with my Chromebook and everything I need to do my math and social studies homework. Plus, now that I’m entering my third trimester, my feet are swelling, which has really helped anchor me to the ground. Yesterday, a bully tried to shove me, and I didn’t even budge. It’s amazing.” Looking to the future, Bridgemeyer observed that while a newborn in a baby carrier wouldn’t be heavy enough to balance out her backpack, it was likely a moot point given that she would soon be forced to drop out of school.

The Onion

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