Man Who Claims To Like Fishing Actually Just Likes Sitting Alone In Boat For 5 Hours

SWEETWATER, AL — Alabama man Benjamin Braun once again declared his deep love for fishing this morning as he set out on the lake with a giant cooler filled with beer.

“Gosh, I sure do love fishing,” Braun reportedly said to his friend John McMurty, taking an appreciative swig of his beer as the two looked out over the lake and inhaled the fresh morning air. “Yes sir-ee-bob, nothing like being out here — just us, the fish, and this Yeti cooler filled to the brim with Coors Light. Best sport on earth.”

According to sources, Braun has fished most weekends for the past ten years, and thus far has caught about three fish. “It’s my passion. I just love the fight when you’ve got a bass on the line,” said Braun, taking another sip. “And I really mean when you have got a bass on the line, because I’ve never had one. Caught a mean perch though last year. Aw man, did I forget the bait again?”

Braun’s wife Evelyn reported that Braun’s love for fishing came as a surprise as he doesn’t like fish or the outdoors. “He’s really gotten into it though,” said Evelyn. “He bought a new rod last year and an even bigger cooler. He still hasn’t figured out how to tie a hook on the line, but it’s only been a decade, I’m sure he’ll get there.”

At publishing time, Braun had been seen heading to the golf course in order to “stay active and get a few steps in.”

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Babylon Bee